inane chatter
Sometimes my friends and I say silly things to each other while we’re on AIM or MSN. Or in IRC. Here, I am going to share those things with you. Most of this will only be amusing to me, so if you happen across this, move along.
———-
Laser tag, that’s where it’s at.
(19:06:07) Bård: laser tag
(19:06:15) Bård: that’s where its at
(19:06:15) Hockey Gazelle: I couldn’t do that.
(19:06:20) Hockey Gazelle: I really couldn’t.
(19:06:28) Hockey Gazelle: If you shoot me with a toy pistol, and something on my chest lights up
(19:06:30) Hockey Gazelle: I won’t stop.
(19:06:38) Hockey Gazelle: I will chase you into a corner, and probably sit on you.
———-
Characteristic behavior of someone with a soul.
(20:47:36) Frank: I’m not a boy, I’m a MAN
(20:48:23) Doctor Mowinckel: Yeah yeah, you still think dinosaurs are AWESOME, you would describe dinosaurs as awesome, you would exclaim the fact that you think dinosaurs are awesome.
(20:48:33) Doctor Mowinckel: This very characteristic of boy behaviour.
(20:49:15) Frank: I would call that characteristic behavior of someone with a SOUL, thankyouverymuch
(20:49:47) Doctor Mowinckel: It is hard to find people who dislike dinosaurs.
———-
Seems a bit derivative.
(20:43:34) Gaby: why do i have so many calculus books
(20:44:08) Doctor Mowinckel: Maybe they’re INTEGRAL to your learning.
(20:44:27) Gaby: OH HO HO I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE
(20:44:30) Doctor Mowinckel: YEAH
(20:44:31) Gaby: What an intellectual joke!
(20:44:32) Doctor Mowinckel: I MADE A FUNNY
(20:44:48) Gaby: But seriously, though. I have like, 5.
(20:44:51) Gaby: Thats WAY too many.
(20:44:54) Doctor Mowinckel: It is.
(20:48:47) Doctor Mowinckel: OH, OH! Having so many calculus books seems a bit DERIVATIVE, doesn’t it?
(20:48:59) Gaby: OH HO HO!
(20:49:01) Gaby: YOURE ON A ROLL
(20:49:16) Doctor Mowinckel: Yeah, but I don’t think there’s a lot of room left for calculus jokes.
(20:49:43) Gaby: I think i can SQUEEZE THEOREM a few more in.
(20:49:45) Gaby: Yeah, that doesnt work.
———-
It’s a play on words.
(1:27:10 PM) Adrienne: my camera died
(1:27:18 PM) Adrienne: and my dog ate the chip
(1:27:35 PM) Adrienne: he’ll eat anything
(1:27:55 PM) Hockey Gazelle: Flash cards have to be up there with the worst kinds of things to eat, though.
(1:28:51 PM) Adrienne: they’re just paper
(1:30:00 PM) Hockey Gazelle: Oh, OHHHHHHHHHHH
(1:30:01 PM) Hockey Gazelle: I get it!
(1:30:04 PM) Hockey Gazelle: It’s a play on words!
(1:30:29 PM) Adrienne: O_o
(1:30:59 PM) Hockey Gazelle: I meant flash cards, like flash memory cards, and you turned it around like, oh flash cards like the learning tools?
(1:31:11 PM) Adrienne: OOH
———-
Is it going to maul me?
(21:45:03) Doctor Mowinckel: And, I guess, no one wants to have tense sex?
(21:45:21) Doctor Mowinckel: Like, no one wants to fuck, and think, holy shit, there’s a bear in the room, is it going to maul me?
(21:45:23) Doctor Mowinckel: Maybe there is.
(21:45:29) Doctor Mowinckel: Maybe that’s someones fetish.
(21:45:31) Doctor Mowinckel: That’d be fucked up.
(21:46:03) Becky: i’ve seen people who like killing bears and having sex on them
(21:46:24) Doctor Mowinckel: Are you just assuming that because they’re fucking on a bear rug, first of all, ew.
(21:46:46) Doctor Mowinckel: I mean, ew. There’s bear hair that could get in your cootch, or ass, and then there’s the fucking stains that are going to end up on the rug.
(21:46:58) Doctor Mowinckel: Second, are you assuming that they killed the bear, just to have sex on it?
(21:47:09) Doctor Mowinckel: Or are you like, killing a bear in the woods, then fucking on top of it, like, while it’s dying?
(21:47:55) Becky: what’s the difference
(21:51:08) Doctor Mowinckel: Like, between fucking on a bear skin rug, and fucking on a dying bear?
(21:51:24) Becky: they killed the bear
(21:51:31) Becky: it was dying/dead
(21:51:37) Becky: in the middle of the woods
(21:51:51) Becky: brown bear
(21:52:17) Doctor Mowinckel: That’s fucked up.
(21:52:25) Becky: i know right
(21:52:27) Doctor Mowinckel: Which would you rather do?
(21:52:38) Doctor Mowinckel: Fuck on a dying bear in the woods, or fuck on a bear skin rug?
(21:53:01) Becky: well if i had no choice
(21:53:09) Becky: i’d choose the rug
(21:54:17) Doctor Mowinckel: That’s fucked up, what kind of person would you force to fuck on a dead bear?
(21:54:23) Doctor Mowinckel: I mean, at least he’s giving you options, but still.
(21:56:09) Becky: well not like i meant it literally
(21:56:13) Becky: 
(21:57:58) Doctor Mowinckel: There’s almost seven billion people out there.
(21:58:01) Doctor Mowinckel: This person might exist.
(21:58:14) Doctor Mowinckel: The person who forces you to choose which kind of dead bear to fuck on might exist.
(22:00:28) Becky: most likely
(22:01:05) Doctor Mowinckel: There’s too many people in the world, that’s the problem.
———-
ROYAL RAINBOW
(23:39:58) Doctor Mowinckel: Like, if I were alive for the end of the universe, if I could be cut off early, and see the end of the universe, or die when I’m 110 on this earth, I’d dig the first option so much more.
(23:40:11) Gaby: Me too!
(23:43:10) Doctor Mowinckel: Let’s do it.
(23:43:15) Doctor Mowinckel: Let’s end the Universe.
(23:43:19) Doctor Mowinckel: Just to make shit interesting.
(23:43:30) Gaby: I’m totally up for that.
(23:43:33) Doctor Mowinckel: Let’s like, FUCK! Let’s make a really big Katamari, to start the Big Crunch!
(23:43:35) Doctor Mowinckel: IT WILL BE AWESOME
(23:43:40) Gaby: YES
(23:44:24) Doctor Mowinckel: I wonder if the King of all Cosmos can tell us what’s outside the Universe?
(23:44:53) Gaby: I bet he could, but when he tells us it wont make any sense whatsoever.
(23:44:59) Gaby: Because the king of the cosmos is a PISSANT.
(23:46:15) Doctor Mowinckel: That’s true, he doesn’t make a lot of sense.
———-
It might have some sort of wierd robot vagina.
Deebs: Or he’ll give me a handjob when I prance around like a fairy.
Deebs: No joke, there’s a handjob attachment.
Sock: Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me.
Sock: If you had like, a little bi-pedal thing that would follow you around
Sock: And would never talk to anyone
Sock: Or anything
Sock: Of course you’d find some way to fuck it.
Sock: Even if it is just a handy.
Deebs: Who wouldn’t?!
Deebs: Especially the mage one. You can’t tell if it’s a dude or a chick robot.
Deebs: It might have some sort of wierd robot vagina.
Sock: Hahaha, ahh shit, some sort of weird robot vagina? What the fuck, man?
Sock: That made me laugh heartily.
Deebs: The Japanese, dude.
Deebs: They come up with this shit.
Sock: Some sort of weird robot vagina. Yeah, they’re gettin’ there.
Sock: I could see some dude, sees a humanoid robot, he gets all curious. Not like, sexy curious, like, that’d be fucked up curious.
Sock: He puts his hand between the robots legs, pulls it back out, and he says “It’s some sort of weird robot vagina!”
Deebs: Hahahahah!
Sock: Then he makes his friend smell his hand, his friend doesn’t want to, but reluctantly, he leans in.
Sock: Then he jabs his hand in his friends face.
Sock: Covered in weird robot vagina juices.
Deebs: What’s in a robot vagina? Oil?
Sock: I dunno, it’d probably just be like, a self lubricating fleshlight.
———-
That’s bree.
(22:57:24 PM) Bård: what was the name of the town they first arrive at?
(22:57:50 PM) Hockey Gazelle: What town?
(22:58:06 PM) Hockey Gazelle: With The Prancing Pony?
(22:58:08 PM) Hockey Gazelle: That’s Bree.
(22:58:17 PM) Bård: the one where they meet that human dude
(22:58:24 PM) Hockey Gazelle: That’s Bree.
(22:58:27 PM) Hockey Gazelle: Where they meet Strider.
(22:59:25 PM) Bård: fuck cant find a clip of that scene
(23:00:00 PM) Bård: either way there’s like this filthy old guy looking at them as they enter the town, taking a big bite of a carrot. Thats peter jackson.
(23:00:10 PM) Hockey Gazelle: LOOK, THE FIRST MAN THEY MEET ON THEIR JOURNEY IS MOTHERFRAKKING STRIDER IN BREE.
(23:00:14 PM) Hockey Gazelle: THAT IS GOD DAMNED BREE
(23:00:33 PM) Bård: piss
(23:00:38 PM) Hockey Gazelle: I WILL SHIT IN YOUR OVEN
———-
Fuck. That. Shit.
Doctor Mowinckel: The universe is expanding, and it’s expansion is accelerating, which means the universe is not expanding at the speed of light, so what happens to light when it reaches the edge of the universe?
Jessie: The edge of the universe is defined as where stuff isn’t anymore. So when light reaches that edge, the edge just expands to where light is.
Jessie: Where the light is is just where you can stand and still see in.
Doctor Mowinckel: But-if, like, how does the light make the universe expand, or more how does the universe expand with the light?
Jessie: The matter in the universe expands at the speed that it’s expanding. The light travels out at the speed of light. The edge of “where stuff is” is the line you draw around whatever you feel like calling stuff at the time.
Doctor Mowinckel: I quit.
Doctor Mowinckel: I quit science.
Doctor Mowinckel: Fuck this shit.
Jessie: Your fault for getting into the Michio Kaku shit.
Doctor Mowinckel: How ’bout plants?
Doctor Mowinckel: Maybe I’ll get into plants.
Jessie: Plants are kinda cool.
Doctor Mowinckel: Those are easily explained, right?
Jessie: Hahaha…
Doctor Mowinckel: Shit.
Jessie: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citric_acid_cycle
Doctor Mowinckel: Oh, oh, the first sentence of that, fuck that.
Doctor Mowinckel: I’m going back to the big bang shit.
Jessie: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M-theory
Doctor Mowinckel: Oh, I know about this bullshit.
Doctor Mowinckel: It’s fucked, is what it is.
Jessie: Yep. And it’s involved in the big bang. There’s no winning.
———-
I can’t hide anything under Angelina Jolie.
(7:22:00 PM) Hockey Gazelle: I so don’t get people who are infatuated with celeberities.
(7:22:25 PM) Marco: Neither do we. It actively agitates Jessie.
(7:22:27 PM) Hockey Gazelle: It would be awesome to be able to derive enjoyment from something that’s totally non-interactive, I wish I had that in me
(7:22:29 PM) Hockey Gazelle: That’s like, getting pleasure from a rock.
(7:22:38 PM) Hockey Gazelle: You can be all about a rock but a rock does nothing for you.
(7:22:41 PM) Hockey Gazelle: Actually, fuck that
(7:22:49 PM) Hockey Gazelle: A rock does way more for you than a celebrity.
(7:22:54 PM) Marco: Way more.
(7:22:57 PM) Hockey Gazelle: A rock can be thrown at things as a weapon
(7:23:16 PM) Marco: You can pet the rock. In my time I’ve run into many rocks that are texturally pleasing.
(7:23:23 PM) Hockey Gazelle: It can…I dunno, I only have the violent options in mind when it comes to the usefulness of rocks.
(7:23:25 PM) Marco: The rock can hide things, like cats.
(7:23:29 PM) Hockey Gazelle: Yeah!
(7:23:32 PM) Hockey Gazelle: You can hide shit under them.
(7:23:39 PM) Hockey Gazelle: Or you can carve out part of a rock
(7:23:42 PM) Hockey Gazelle: And you can put shit in them
(7:23:46 PM) Marco: I can’t hide anything under Angelina Jolie.
(7:24:43 PM) Marco: Well, ok, depends on the size of the rock. If a cop saw us moving around that really big rock they may have had words with us.
(7:25:00 PM) Marco: But that’s because we hijacked a bulldozer to move it.
(7:25:28 PM) Hockey Gazelle: Yeah.
(7:25:48 PM) Hockey Gazelle: That might do it.
(7:25:59 PM) Hockey Gazelle: I wonder how big a rock you can get away with carrying before people get suspicious?
(7:26:17 PM) Hockey Gazelle: If rocks weren’t so heavy they’d be easier to move around.
(7:26:22 PM) Marco: True.
(7:26:34 PM) Marco: Given how heavy rocks are, you can’t get a very big one before you can’t move it anymore.