January 10th, 2010 | Tags:

Since the Holidays are well past, and I’ve given away SUPER SECRET PRESENTS that aren’t so secret anymore, I can blag about these!

I made my friend Kat a pretty radtacular Battlestar Galactica jacket, complete with a BSG insignia and Viper patch on the shoulders, a Viper Vigilantes Patch, and a K. Thrace name tap on the left and right breast, topped off with some Kara Thrace dog tags. It was all slapped onto an MA-1 flight jacket replica from Alpha Industries. It was pretty rad! If I could git into jackets that small, I probably would have kept it, it was just that rad! But wait, there’s more! I also slapped on a transparent pocket that housed a Viper Pre-Flight checklist. The checklist recreations came out looking really awesome, and I frakkin’ know some people would like to have these for their own jacket and/or costume projects, so here they are!

December 15th, 2009 | Tags:

I really like 01011001 by Ayreon. It might be my favourite record of the decade, and it’s definitely my favourite metal album from the oughts. You can be a metal purist and say it’s not metal, but it’s definitely not a rock record, nor is it a prog-rock record, so to me, it defaults itself into the “metal” category. The entire album tells a story, the first act, Y, tell the tale of life in Western culture, as we experience it today, the second act, EARTH, tells an epic science fiction story that you can very easily find more interesting than the music itself. However, my favourite track from the album comes from the first act, and that track is “Connect the Dots”. Very rarely does a song click with me, and for some reason, Connect the Dots did. The gist of it is; Western culture is wasteful, but it explains way in very subtle ways, and right here, RIGHT THE FRAK NOW, I am going to pick apart every last bit of the song.

“I hugged the wife and drove to work today
It was only a few miles”

Drove to work today, it was only a few miles. We choose to drive short distances, rather than to walk, when there’s no reason to drive. It’s a burden to the environment, our resources, and our wallets.

“Was in no hurry, but the lights were changing up ahead
So I stepped on the gas”

Running yellow lights is something that will in the short run make your life easier, or give you a reward, however, you’re weighing a risk against a reward.

“I checked the Mac, I left it on over night
Downloading all the latest files
Peer-to-peer, the torrent flows into my lap
And I disconnect”

We choose to pirate our media, rather than buy it. For us, we get an immediate reward, but in the long run, it’s detrimental to us, and it already has been detrimental to us. DRM, and the DMCA were birthed out of our lust for instant satisfaction, and few will argue those have been positive things.

“We all know no need to remind us
We all know we won’t connect the dots
We all know locked away inside us
We are dying for tomorrow
We are living for today”

To me, this is the most important part of the song. We all know, no need to remind us. We all know what we do today, that is quicker and easier, and bad for us, will be detrimental to us in the long run. Almost every line of the song points to this. We all know, we won’t connect the dots. A lot of us do these things that are inherently detrimental to our well being, but we choose to ignore it, because it makes living in the moment easier, we may know it, but we deny it. This is what “We are dying for tomorrow, we are living for today” means.

“I rushed back home to my family
I got my son a brand new game
No need to cook, I picked up fast food on the way
And it’s finger-licking good”

Again, something that makes living in the moment easier, but is detrimental to our overall long-term well being. You can buy fast food, and get immediate satisfaction, however it’s a financial, and health burden. Making something at home will take longer, but it will generally cost less, and be better for you. As well, rushed back home, driving fast to get a reward in favour of a risk. The risk is the danger that comes with speeding, the reward is getting to your destination quicker.

“Have you seen little Steve today?
Guess he’s still up there in his room
But if he comes down tell him I’ll be right here just staring at the tube
Playing his game”

Rather than taking his son outside, to a museum, to a sporting event, either to watch or play, or taking him to do something social, he instead buys him a videogame. It’s an easier form of entertainment to just sit in front of a TV, rather than having to drive (or walk) somewhere with his son, or to have to sign him up to a football, soccer, or lacrosse team. A game is immediate gratification which has no physical, and fewer social rewards than other activities.

“Don’t you think it’s rather warm tonight
Especially for the time of year
I turn up the air pull my sheets up to my chin
And I close my eyes”

Don’t you think it’s rather warm tonight, especially for the time of the year. This is definitely a comment on global warming, which if you’ve listened to the song thus far, we know it’s being attributed to needless driving, and other wasteful things. I turn up the air, pull the sheets up to my chin. This is also wasteful, to turn the air on, and pull the sheets all the way up to your chin. Again, it makes living in the moment more comfortable, but drains resources, and costs money in the long run.

“Can’t relax, can’t fall asleep
Should I take another pill?
I turn up the lights, light up a cigarette and smile
I’ve got it made”

Can’t relax, can’t fall asleep. Perhaps a stressful lifestyle is keeping you up? Lack of exercise, and too many calories keeping you awake? You can interpret this as you please. The last two lines, smoking, it does give you a reward, but again, it’s detrimental to your health, and “I’ve got it made”, which I take to mean “I’ve got it made where I’m at, so I don’t feel the need to try harder to get to get someplace better”.

It’s a really cool song, and it’s got a lot going on! I’m sure it’s open to interpretation, so if you have any comments, feel free to add them.

October 10th, 2009 | Tags:

I’ve been playing games for a very long time, about 15, 16 years or thereabouts, but I’ve never had this large a flood of games in my queue of “Shit to play”. In the past three weeks, I have bought:

Descent 1 & 2
Descent 3
Fallout 1
Fallout 2
Shattered Steel
Sacrifice
X-Com UFO Defense
X-Com Terror from the Deep
X-Com Apocalypse
X-Com Interceptor
X-Com Enforcer
Mount & Blade
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Shinobi (For the PS2)
Spyro the Dragon: Ripto’s Rage
Spyro the Dragon: Year of the Dragon
And Eternal Sonata.

This list of games has only cost me $48, yay for sales.

I don’t think I’m going to buy any more games for a while. I have enough shit to keep me busy.

September 25th, 2009 | Tags:

Awesome.

September 12th, 2009 | Tags: , ,

I had an amazing conversation with my friend Gaby about Cayce Pollard’s sex life (The protagonist from William Gibson’s novel, Pattern Recognition), which then lead into space ejaculations.

(01:11:23) Doctor Mowinckel: Wouldn’t it be fucked up if the Pattern Recognition film makes it to production, print, theatre release, and gets really popular?
(01:11:27) Doctor Mowinckel: That’d blow my fucking mind.
(01:11:44) Gaby: Yeah, i’d have to agree!
(01:11:59) Doctor Mowinckel: I bet they take some viral marketing angle with it.
(01:12:07) Doctor Mowinckel: ’cause how the footage worked in the novel.
(01:12:15) Doctor Mowinckel: Which would actually be kind of rad.
(01:12:42) Doctor Mowinckel: Wouldn’t it be awesome to see some clips from the footage we read about, popping up in torrent trackers, and shite?
(01:13:08) Gaby: That would be pretty awesome!
(01:13:21) Gaby: thats totally the angle Gibson would take if he were part of production, too.
(01:13:27) Gaby: Promoting that shit on torrent trackers.
(01:13:37) Doctor Mowinckel: From what I’ve read
(01:13:47) Doctor Mowinckel: He’s endorsed the Pattern Recognition film
(01:13:55) Doctor Mowinckel: But has stepped away from the Neuromancer film
(01:13:58) Gaby: Really?
(01:13:59) Doctor Mowinckel: And I can understand that.
(01:14:02) Gaby: Yeah.
(01:14:13) Doctor Mowinckel: Because it will be easier to get Pattern Recognition right, for film, than a Neuromancer film.
(01:14:49) Doctor Mowinckel: If they make Neuromancer faithful to the book, that’d totally be an NC-17 flick, wouldn’t it?
(01:14:53) Gaby: Probably!
(01:15:01) Gaby: Im concerned that people’ll see neuromancer and blow it off as a wannabe matrix because of all the ideology/plot cues the matrix series borrowed.
(01:15:15) Doctor Mowinckel: Yeah, I hadn’t thought of that.
(01:15:45) Gaby: Id totally make a neuromancer-based porn movie.
(01:16:23) Doctor Mowinckel: I’d be interested in a Pattern Recognition porn.
(01:16:29) Doctor Mowinckel: Because Cayce is a weird cat
(01:16:34) Doctor Mowinckel: And I’d love to know how she fucked.
(01:16:50) Doctor Mowinckel: Not in like a, oh that’s so hot, fap fap fap kind of way
(01:16:58) Doctor Mowinckel: But in a, how does this chick work her thing? kind of way.
(01:17:21) Gaby: I bet shes a domme.
(01:17:40) Doctor Mowinckel: explain plz
(01:18:52) Gaby: Probably your idea of a “dominatrix”, only females who are dominant prefer the word “domme” because “dominatrix” is associated with women who only dress up and put on a show for money or attention, while dommes are actually involved in the lifestyle
(01:19:24) Doctor Mowinckel: Maybe.
(01:19:28) Doctor Mowinckel: I could see that in her
(01:20:14) Doctor Mowinckel: I don’t think she’s on top
(01:20:30) Gaby: You can still control from the bottom!
(01:20:33) Doctor Mowinckel: ’cause remember the mentioning of Donny, and how she found the gun on his bed, what’s the front part of the bed called?
(01:20:59) Doctor Mowinckel: Anyway, she found his gun there.
(01:21:30) Gaby: True!
(01:21:49) Doctor Mowinckel: Now I’m really thinking about this.
(01:21:57) Doctor Mowinckel: Man, her and Parkaboy doin’ it, that’d be fucking weird to watch.
(01:22:01) Doctor Mowinckel: I would pay to watch that shit.
(01:22:08) Gaby: I would too!
(01:22:17) Gaby: She just seems like the type that would chain someone to a headboard and leave them naked in a hotel room with the door slightly ajar. I dont know why, but I can see her doing that.
(01:23:08) Doctor Mowinckel: It’d be fucked up to have Cayce in bed, ’cause you know she’d be all “Drape a sheet over that Sony TV over there”, and most people would be like “What why?”, but we would know why!
(01:23:24) Gaby: I know, right?!
(01:23:56) Doctor Mowinckel: if I were in that situation, I’d be like “Motherfucker, let’s get sanding sponges, and sand off every logo in the house, while we fuck!”
(01:24:00) Doctor Mowinckel: I wonder if she’d be into that?
(01:24:26) Gaby: Huh. I bet she would be.
(01:26:23) Doctor Mowinckel: I’m really thinking about this, like intently.
(01:26:29) Doctor Mowinckel: I really want to know how Cayce Pollard fucks.
(01:26:54) Doctor Mowinckel: She can’t be a blower, no fucking way.
(01:27:29) Gaby: Agreed!
(01:27:41) Doctor Mowinckel: I think this is making me come around to your line of thinking now, the thought of some dude being like “Hey Cayce, suck it”, and she’d be all “Psh”, then throw him down and get her way.
(01:27:59) Gaby: Exactly!
(01:28:14) Doctor Mowinckel: Do you think that’d be more of a release for her, like, from her job, where she has little control, just yes or no?
(01:28:43) Gaby: Thats why I totally think shed be a domme!
(01:28:47) Doctor Mowinckel: And just getting to totally fucking control a situation like that, she’d be really into it, the whole domme thing?
(01:28:50) Doctor Mowinckel: Yeah, I think I get it now.
(01:29:09) Doctor Mowinckel: I wonder how many other people have talked this in depth about Cayce Pollards sex life?
(01:29:25) Gaby: Like, 3 probably.
(01:29:39) Doctor Mowinckel: I’d say less than ten, easily.
(01:30:13) Doctor Mowinckel: You know, Parkaboy seems kind of squirrelly, like he’d be easy to run over in bed, maybe that’s part of why she dug him.
(01:30:36) Doctor Mowinckel: He’s like, a dick she’s comfortable with, and it’s a dick that she can fucking own.
(01:30:44) Gaby: I know, right?!
(01:30:54) Doctor Mowinckel: Is this the first you’ve thought about this?
(01:31:00) Doctor Mowinckel: I think you’ve thought about this before.
(01:31:19) Doctor Mowinckel: This is the first time I’ve thought about Cayce and Parkaboy together, but not the first time I’ve thought about Cayce fuckin’.
(01:31:54) Gaby: See, in many, MANY science fiction novels, the act of sex is brought up at least once.
(01:32:02) Gaby: So I like to think of what they’d be like in the act.
(01:32:05) Gaby: Sometimes I’m right!
(01:32:12) Doctor Mowinckel: Oh, I know. You can’t not fuck in hard sci-fi novels.
(01:32:36) Gaby: Seriously, its been ages since Ive read a book without at least one sex scene in it.
(01:32:46) Doctor Mowinckel: But it makes sense.
(01:33:04) Doctor Mowinckel: I mean, even NASA has okayed sex in space, not officially, but like, under the table.
(01:33:21) Gaby: Arent they researching it?
(01:33:51) Doctor Mowinckel: Yeah, I remember reading something about some…place, I don’t know if it was NASA, but someplace looking into whether or not you can have sex in space.
(01:34:08) Doctor Mowinckel: But NASA’s stance was like, people are going to be on long missions, and people like to fuck, it’s going to happen.
(01:35:58) Gaby: I wonder how it would work. Would the chance of conception go down or up, or would it depend on the angle or something?
(01:36:01) Gaby: Im curious now.
(01:36:09) Doctor Mowinckel: What I want to know
(01:36:13) Doctor Mowinckel: Has anyone spooged in space?
(01:36:21) Doctor Mowinckel: You know not all astronauts are fucking boy scouts.
(01:36:57) Doctor Mowinckel: I wonder if one of them got up there, grabbed like a baggy, held it out in front of him, jerked his meat off, caught it in the bag, and then shot that out into space?
(01:37:52) Gaby: BEST IDEA EVER
(01:39:01) Gaby: Now I have penis envy. I wanna shoot spooge out into space.
(01:39:28) Doctor Mowinckel: Man, in like, 200 years, maybe less, I bet every dude will have spooged in space, at least once.
(01:40:13) Doctor Mowinckel: I bet they’ll monetize that shit
(01:40:18) Doctor Mowinckel: And there will be space spooge rooms
(01:40:24) Doctor Mowinckel: With like, zero-g jizz moppers.
(01:40:31) Gaby: Man, now I’m really jealous. Us females gotta have something to shoot out into space.

August 27th, 2009 | Tags:

Let’s say you get to choose two parents, two parents who retroactively raise you. You know what, that’s too negative, that’s like, implying your parents sucked and you want new parents, that’s not the case, that’s not what I’m getting at. Let’s say you got two pairs of parents, and you share a duplex or some shit. The first parents are the parents you already have, but the second set, you get to choose. They don’t have to be like, married, or even have kids, you get to choose them. They’re like, your second mom and dad, who live in the second half of the duplex. You get to spend every Christmas and every Thanksgiving with them. It’s just you, your siblings, if you have any, and you’re two sets of parents; your biological parents, and your chosen parents. Now, let’s say your chosen parents, they get to raise you in the past, and like, upon choosing them, you have a whole lifetime up until now of having lived with both sets of parents. You don’t have to be young again, but you get all of those experiences with both sets of parents. And for continuities sake, let’s say you keep your memories of your original parents, just you and your original parents, and then, after you choose your second set of parents, you get all of those childhood memories too, with the two sets of parents, while still keeping your memories of your real childhood.

What people do you choose to be your second set of parents? And why?

Me, I’d choose Patrick Norton, and Sabine Schmitz. Patrick Norton is an awesome guy, he’s a super nice dude, who’s a total hardware geek, audio, and truck geek. He used to co-host The Screen Savers, and currently co-hosts Tekzilla, but he’s a really nice guy. Really smart dude when it comes to acoustics, electronics, and cars. Totally the type of dude I’d like to hang out with.

For my secondary mother, I would choose Sabine Schmitz. People call her the “Queen of Nürburgring”, she drives the “race taxi” around the Nürburgring circuit in Nürburg, Germany. She’s done some professional motorsport racing, too, and has done some TV work with some German car programs. I could say more about here, but the video below is enough;

She’s really awesome, I would totally hang out with her.

August 24th, 2009 | Tags:

The first; If I had tits, girl tits, not even nice girl tits, not the flaps of man blubber I currently possess. I shouldn’t blab about what a disgusting tub of flab I am-, that rhymed, I know some of my chick friends read this, and I don’t think I need to be reinforcing upon them the fact that I’m a disgusting human being.

Anyway, if I had tits, girl tits, I’d be totally terrified of them popping out. Like, if I had tits, I could never wear a two piece, and how boobs don’t just slip out of those is a mystery to me. But now, as a dude, that’s pretty fucking awesome, ’cause when I see a chick in a two piece, in my mind, I am always like, one lean-over away from seeing a free nipple, which is awesome! But even in a one piece, if I had girl tits, I’d be afraid of them poppin’ out the side. I don’t know how I would ever go to a beach if I were a chick, probably the same way I do now, which is by not going, ever. So I don’t know, I don’t what would change for me if I had tits, other than being a chick.

The second; I totally want to get high and watch all of Firefly, back to back, in one sitting. The more I think about Firefly, the more I dig that show, I haven’t even been re-watching it, just been computing it in my brain. And for some reason, I want to get blitzed, sit down in front of a big screen, and scope that shit out in one eight hour sitting, and I think that’s how I’m going to spend my birthday.

August 21st, 2009 | Tags: ,

Once, many moons ago, like, a year and a half ago, I wrote an article for an entertainment site I was involved with at the time. We’ve since broken up, but the article was about my five favourite creative commons songs out there. That is, my favourite songs out there that are free to download, legally, and distribute for non-profit purposes. I love creative commons music. CCMixter, Slay Radio, SceneSat, OCRemix, RKO, all fantastic resources for free music that you can download without worrying about the feds poppin’ a cap in yo’ ass, as the hip kids would say.

This article has since gone kaput, thanks to lackadaisical domain renewals, but I was thinking about it today, and decided to re-write it. I’m sure the list will be completely different, sans number one, but I’m still comepelled to re-write it.

5. Daniel Baranowsky, Vigilante, zyko – Invertebrate Retreat

Daniel Baranowski is a talented dude, he’s pounded out some fine remixes over at OCRemix, go give his Remix page a looksee. Same for Vigilante, the remix scene is loaded with talented people, and Mr. Baranowksy, and Vigilante are two of the best. Vocals on this track are provided by Daniel himself, the dude can sing, surprisingly well. This track is a remix of Lorenzo’s Soil, originally written by Tommy Tallarico (an insanely talented albeit crazy human being), and the remix is pretty rad. It’s some sort of trip hip hop rock fiasco that I won’t bother categorizing.

4. Aurora, SGX, destructo – Frame of Mind

This is a remix of Home Sweet Home, from Beyond Good & Evil, which is a game I will always have a perpetual boner for. It’s one of three games I would describe as “Beautiful”. Everything about it is so masterfully done. The gameplay, music, sound, levels, it’s fantastic in every way. But, I’m here to gab about music. The music in Beyond Good & Evil is wonderful, and there aren’t a lot of BG&E remixes out there, this is one of the few, and it’s so pretty. It’s such an easy listen, and it’s so easy to digest. Aurora has a voice that sinks right in, and is so easy to listen to. The song isn’t intense at all, and is overall, very pleasant, with a very chill vibe.

3. Trans-Transylvanian Orchestra – Ailsean, Chad Seiter, Victor

There was a period of my life, back in I think it was 2004, where rock arranges of Castlevania music made up about half of what I listened to, and Trans-Transylvanian Orchestra is easily and by far the best remix I’ve heard. I guess it could be described as orchestral rock, what with the cello and all. The cello was played by Victor, who, as a person, is a mystery to me. But, what I like best about this song is that it captures Castlevania so well. The Castlevania games have always been over the top adventure games set in an over the top Medieval European environment. What better way to capture that vibe than motherfucking guitars and cellos?

2. Wizball – Reyn Ouwehand

Reyn Ouwehand has more talent than any musician you’re a fan of. Just watch:

The dude plays everything! He doesn’t even need a studio, or session artists! Give the guy a guitar, drums, bass, a keyboard, and a looper, and he can do this. The dude shits talent. The original tune was written by Martin Galway, one of the most legendary C64 composers out there, and overall very intelligent music dude. Reyn Ouwehand decided to give another one of Mr. Galway’s tunes a re-work in the bottom of his basement, and put on a bit of the show in the process. He is the one man band, and one of the most talented humans in the world. Watch the video, and enjoy.

1. Eric Barker – Burmecian Spirit.

This is my favourite song. Not just my favourite free song, my favourite song ever in general in the history of things. I love it, I love it with an ineffable instensity. Maybe not that intense, but I do adore it. It’s beautifully played, and amazing all over. I could gush over it, but listening to it will be a much better use of your time than reading me gab about it.

This is just an iota of a fraction of all the awesome music out there that’s covered by the Creative Commons. Go to OCRemix, go to RKO, poke around CCMixter! Tune into SceneSat and Slay Radio! There’s so much out there, and these five resources just scratch the surface. Dig in, ya all. There’s something in the CC music scene for everyone.

August 21st, 2009 | Tags:

I have this thing, with this font, Baddaboom!, I see it everywhere, I notice it, and I go “Huh, that’s Baddaboom!. I see that font around a lot”. I don’t really care for the font, either. I’ve used it, as has everyone who’s ever posed something in Gmod, but nowadays, I’m sick of it, but I still take note of it when I see it. I think it’s kind of novel, so I generally remember when I see it. And for some reason, I want to document my Baddaboom! sightings, here, on the interwebs, and I don’t know why. But I’m going to start, and you’re going to read all about it.

Today, I walked past a restaurant located in a strip mall, and I noticed the sign had a Baddaboom! on it, and decided it was time to start documenting this tacky and overused font. Here’s the sign:

Apparently this restaurant is a great place to fight night hunger.

August 15th, 2009 | Tags:

I wonder how many squirrels it would take to overpower and kill a man who was armed with say, a machete? Obviously the squirrels aren’t your typical see human, run away squirrels. These are like, vicious squirrel army squirrels. They’re not smart enough to go for major arteries or anything, but they can bite like a motherfucker. And let’s say the dude with the machete is in pretty good shape, and knows how to handle a blade, but he isn’t a pro with one. He’s like, an ex-military guy, and has some basic training with things like machetes.

How many of these squirrels would it take to overpower this dude with a machete? I say about forty.

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